Forbidden
by KeepCalmAndFictionOn
Summary: "Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden." Refusal to obey is punishable by the severest methods the Jedi Council can offer. But sometimes, the heart does not comply. This is the story of the broken love affair between two lost souls, and the price that must be paid for their rebellion. Anakin/OC, Anakin/Padme
1. Reckless

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, a baby girl was born. They said that on the night of her birth, all the stars in the cosmos came down and blessed her with beauty and strength.

She was born to a wealthy family on the planet of Cato Neimoidia. They named her Shade, for the cool fingers of evening that she saw as she opened her eyes for the first time. From the beginning of her life, she was a remarkable child. She possessed strange, almost unnatural abilities. She could anticipate things before they happened; react and recover from incidents before anyone else had processed the situation. Her grey eyes, dark as a storm cloud, could perceive things that no one else would notice. She was sensitive, but strong. The strikingly chiseled lines of her face, boasting pale skin framed by a curtain of inky hair, drew attention early in life.

She was eight when it was decided that she was to travel to Corrusant, to be trained as a Jedi. She knew she would never forget that day in early autumn, as she stepped onto the spacecraft that would carry her across the galaxy, away from the only world she had ever known. An attendant had seen to her luggage, and she stood at the window, watching the faces of her mother and father slip away from her forever.

_I must be brave. I shall be brave. I am brave. _

And so, not a single tear did she cry. Turning away from the fading vista of Cato Neimoidia, she set her small, fierce face toward the future.

*Two Years Later*

"Avrin!"

Shade's eyes flew up. Two years into her Jedi training, and she was only now learning to respond promptly to her surname.

"Please, concentrate."

"Sorry," she muttered.

"Sorry, what?" Her instructor, Aayla Secura, a leading member of the Jedi council, glared at her out of her blue face.

"Sorry, master," Shade replied in a clipped tone. The small city she'd been building mid-air out of pencils, marbles and blocks came tumbling down as she broke her concentration.

Feeling the heat of Aayla's gaze still on her, Shade looked up expectantly.

"Would you care to answer the question, Avrin?"

"What…question?"

Aayla began to pace, biting back curses as she repeated her previous question.

"I asked you if you could please explain to the class the function of midi-chlorians, and how a Jedi can maximize their effects."

Shade took a deep breath. "Midi-chlorians are necessary for life to exist. They allow for a connection with the Force. In sufficient numbers, midi-chlorians can allow their symbiotic organism to detect the Force, and this connection can be strengthened by quieting one's mind."

The textbook answer was drilled into their minds every single morning at breakfast.

Aayla, at least, seemed pleased with her response. She nodded once, tersely, before dismissing the class for the day. On her way out the door, however, Shade was stopped by her Master's hand on her arm.

"Avrin, you are to come with me to the Council Chambers."

Shade groaned before she could stop herself. "What did I do this time?"

Aayla bit her lip, and Shade absently wondered if she was trying not to smile. No, surely not. Shade couldn't remember _ever_ having seen the Jedi smile.

"You didn't do anything, Avrin, but the Council has reached a decision and must speak with you about it."

Obediently, Shade turned and followed Aayla out the door and through the echoing marble halls of the Jedi Temple, her home for the past two years. It was silent, cold and empty, but it was that way for a purpose. It was said that the loneliness of the building promoted self-reflection and meditation, creating a stronger connection with the Force. Shade didn't particularly care about that; she was already way ahead of everyone else in her classes. All she knew was that since she had arrived, an emptiness had been building inside of _her_, an emptiness to rival the silent expanses of the Temple.

_Attachment is forbidden. _

_Possession is forbidden. _

_Clear your mind. _

_Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose._

The only problem was, she didn't have anything left to let go _of_. She was empty-handed. But in that emptiness, she was fearless. Reckless, even. Her training scores were miles ahead of any of the other Padawans because she was near to careless with her own life. She took risks in simulation tests that the others wouldn't even consider. She was strong, she was young, and she was learning quickly. Therefore, she had the distinct impression that she was a threat.

The doors to the Council Chambers slid open with a slight hiss ahead of them. Aayla walked ahead of her and took her seat in the circle of Jedi Masters gathered there. Shade automatically walked to the small circle that marked the middle of the room as the door shut behind her.

Mace Windu faced her, his eyes hard and unreadable. His gaze had unnerved her when she had first arrived, but now she stood still, unmoving as he examined her, her stormy eyes meeting his cold ones defiantly.

At last, he leaned back in his chair.

"Shade Avrin," he said, "it has come to our attention that you possess an unusual amount of skill for someone so young. You learn quickly; you show a prodigious level of ability. And yet, we are also aware that you are a distinct risk to the other Padawans who study with you. You are reckless. You take chances that perhaps you would not consider so lightly were you actually in a field of combat, and not in a simulation chamber. You are too bold."

"I was told when I came here that I must be fearless," she replied in an even tone.

"Yes. Fearless." Mace leaned forward in his chair. "Not wild, impulsive, and uncontrolled."

"What then would you have me do, Master?" she hoped that he didn't hear the bite in her voice as she referred to him by the title of respect.

"You are no longer to train with the classes," he replied. "You are to be apprenticed to a Jedi Master. We have just received word that Qui-Gon Jinn has been killed in combat on Naboo. His former Apprentice, Obi-Wan Kenobi, has been given the rank of Master recently. Obi-Wan is young, but he is a skilled Jedi. He knows everything that you will need to be taught. He is to be your Master. He returns to Corrusant tomorrow. We will call you back here and you will meet him then."

Shade's mind was swirling, but she managed to mutter, "Yes, Master."

She was then dismissed, and wandered back to her small room on the other side of the Temple while thoughts flew through her mind at the speed of light. It was highly unusual for a Padawan to become an Apprentice before the age of thirteen or fourteen. She should feel euphoric, she should feel triumphant, but all she felt was…nothing. That gaping hole in her heart refused to allow emotions to overcome her. She had been well trained.

Perhaps anticipation and pleasure could not take hold of her, but that night she lay awake until the moon cast silvery shadows on the floor, pondering the coming of her new Master.


	2. Dawn

**Here it is at last, Chapter Two! **

**_M.C. Denalde_****, well how lovely to see you here! :D I'm delighted that you've decided to give this story a try. Thank you so much for following and reviewing! I'll look forward to hearing your thoughts!**

**_Jarjarjinx_****, so glad you're reading this as well! You're such an encouraging person. :D And I rather thought you might like Star Wars, because of your pen name, lol! Please keep R&R'ing!**

**I realized after I posted Chapter 1 that the kids at the Temple are called Younglings, not Padawans...grrrrr I haven't watched the movies in too long! But I shall go back and fix that as soon as I have time. :D **

**Hugs, everyone!**

**XO**

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><p>"Such a thing has never happened before, in the history of the Jedi Council!"<p>

Mace Windu was becoming animated as he faced the young Jedi Master standing before him.

Shade stood quietly to the side, as close to the door as she could get without being _outside_ of the room. Shifting her gaze away from the rather heated clash occurring between Mace and her new Master, Obi Wan Kenobi, she stole another sideways glance at the boy standing beside her. He was close to her height, perhaps an inch shorter, with scruffy blonde hair that couldn't quite conceal the gleam of sapphire eyes. He seemed to feel her watching him, and turned to shoot her a toothy grin, seemingly unaffected by the scene unfolding before them.

It was over this boy that the debate raged. From what she had heard from Obi Wan, Shade had been able to piece the story together.

While on Tattooine, shortly before his death on the nearby planet of Naboo, Qui-Gon Jinn had found the boy working as a slave in a mechanic shop. He had soon realized the boy's unnatural abilities, and after sampling his blood had found a midi-chlorian count so impossibly high that it surpassed the great Jedi Master Yoda. He had bartered for the boy's freedom in a complicated turn of events, and had managed to have him set free. At that point, he took the boy on as his Apprentice, but the relationship was to be short-lived as Qui-Gon died only two days later. While he lay dying, Qui-Gon made Obi Wan promise to train the boy in his place, and Obi Wan had agreed to do so.

Now, the Council fought this promise.

"Shade Avrin has been selected to be your Apprentice for a specific reason, Obi-Wan. We will not rethink our decision to place her under your teaching."

"And I'm not asking you to, Master. I understand the girl's exceptional abilities, but I will not give up the boy."

"Two Apprentices you cannot have, Obi-Wan," Yoda said.

"But why not, Master? I can teach them, and they in turn can teach each other. Simply because it's never been done doesn't mean that it isn't a plausible idea."

There was a long silence as the members of the Council glanced at each other, weighing the decision in their minds. At last, Mace turned back to Obi Wan.

"Very well. You have our permission to try this new arrangement for one year. At the end of that time, we will evaluate both of them, but if we find that the situation is not to our liking, we will change it."

Obi Wan bowed slightly before turning to take his leave. He gestured silently to his two new Apprentices, who followed him quietly out of the Council Chambers. They followed him down several hallways and into a large room, furnished comfortably with several couches and a large fireplace.

Obi Wan shed his cloak and laid it over the back of a chair, turning to face the two young ones in his wake. Shade realized them how very young he was, for a Jedi Master. He couldn't have been more than twenty at best. His tousled, spiky hair was a warm shade of light brown, and his eyes were a peculiar blue-green, like the color of ocean water.

"I believe introductions are in order," he said with a soft smile. "Shade Avrin, meet Anakin Skywalker."

Shade turned to the boy beside her, bowing slightly in acknowledgement. Anakin simply grinned.

"Hi," he said.

Her brow furrowed slightly; she was unused to the casual manners of one not trained in the Jedi way from the beginning, but she decided that she didn't mind.

"I have some things that I must attend to before we leave. You two must wait for me here," Obi Wan said. "I shan't be long."

He smiled at them again before taking his leave, leaving Shade and Anakin alone. There was a pause, as they both tried to think of something to say.

"This couch looks comfy," Anakin said at last, plopping himself down onto the soft leather. "Mmm, it is," he said with a grin.

Shade couldn't help but smile at his infectious good humor, walking over to sit beside him.

"So you're from Tattooine?" she asked.

"Yepp. Where're you from?"

"Cato Neimoidia, over by the Outer Rim."

Anakin's eyes grew wide. "Wow! There's lots of pod racing out there, isn't there?"

"Yeah, that's right," she said.

"I pod race, you know. I won a race back home right before I came here."

"You pod race?" she asked, rather incredulous. "I've never heard of a human who can do it."

"Well I do," he said with a grin. "It's a lot of fun. You should try it sometime!"

"Maybe, I guess. Do you have a family?"

At that, his expression fell a bit. "I have a mum, but Qui-Gon couldn't free her."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, surprised to find that she really meant it.

There was a silence as Anakin struggled to fight back his homesickness.

"How old are you?" he asked her at last.

"I'm eleven. How about you?"

"I'm ten, but I'll be eleven in a few weeks."

They smiled at each other for a moment before Obi Wan reappeared, seeming tired and slightly irritated, but his face brightened when he saw how well they were getting along.

"You two can come with me, now," he said.

Standing, they waited for him to gather his things before they followed him back down the marble hallways. Shade couldn't know that this would be the last time she would walk these floors for many years to come. The loneliness of the past three years was behind her.

Little could any of them know the storm that was coming. If any of them had foreseen it, perhaps things would have been very different. Perhaps Anakin and Shade would have never been allowed to meet. Perhaps the galaxy would have been protected from the fire that would sweep over it, as a new power rose.

But for the time being, the sun peered over the horizon with the coming of a new day.


	3. Inseparable

**Shoutouts go to my wonderful reviewers: ****Jarjarjinx****_, _****M.C. Denalde****, ****Omguhavebrowneyes****, (Omg I actually do! Haha great pen name!) ****BeSkydreamer****, and last but certainly not least, ****Hipster4lyfe****!**

**You guys make me happy!**

**If any of you enjoy the Marvel universe, and Loki in particular, make sure you check out my other ongoing story, ****_"In the Shadow of the Monster"_****! You can find it on my profile! :D **

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><p>Sparks flew as Anakin and Shade dueled, the shine reflecting off of their twin light sabres, glowing eerily in the darkness. Standing a healthy distance away, Obi Wan watched them, his bright eyes tracking every movement. They were a beautiful sight to behold. At fifteen, they both stood tall and strong. Their movements were as supple as two cats, the rippling muscles beneath their thin shirts lending a fluid grace to every motion. Anakin's slightly taller build and natural dominance of brute force was compensated for by Shade's nimble and effortless evasions. They could duel for hours on end without a sign of either Padawan weakening. Their movements were rapid and unrelenting, their light sabres flashing in a complicated dance.<p>

At last, Obi Wan called for them to stop. With a final parting blow, they stepped apart. Anakin's chest rose and fell rapidly, and Shade's cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkled from the exertion.

"Very good," Obi Wan said. "You're realizing more and more what it is to trust your feeling and leave your rationalizations behind."

"Thank you, Master," they said as one.

"But you still have much to learn," Obi Wan reminded them gently.

"Yes, Master," Anakin said. Shade simply nodded.

Returning their weapons to their hips, they followed Obi Wan out of the darkened hall and back into their chambers beyond. They usually would not train so late at night, but it was necessary preparation for the next day.

Obi Wan had received troubling news from the Council. Kohlma, one of the small moons circling the planet of Bogden, had in past years been known for harboring an insidious, death-obsessed cult which came to be known as the "Bando Gora". Although no connection with the Force had ever been detected on Kohlma in the past, and the cult was said to have died out centuries before, rumors had started to spring up in the past several months of a man who had returned to Kohlma, to re-awaken the spirits of the dead cult. Upon further inquiries, the Council had concluded that the man was not himself one of the Bando Gora, but had gone seeking the cult for other reasons. Just how much of it was strictly rumor, they could not know, but the situation sounded so sinister that they had ordered an investigation.

Shade was the last to step through the silver door that led into the chambers that she shared with Anakin and Obi Wan. With a flick of her fingers she closed the door behind herself, turning to grab her cloak off the hook on the wall. While Obi Wan favored lighter colors, such as sandstone and cream, for his Jedi wardrobe, she and Anakin preferred dark shades; maroons, greys and black. Their cloaks were the same unrelenting shade of midnight.

"I trust that you will both behave yourselves on our mission, my young Padawans," Obi Wan said as he moved into the kitchen.

Anakin caught Shade's eye and winked at her while she tried to supress a grin.

"Of course, Master," Anakin answered.

The fame of these two exceptionally talented Padawans had spread through the galaxy; not only for their prodigious level of ability, but also for their love of mischief and pranks. Each was a thoroughly bad influence on the other, and at times their capers had poor Obi Wan near to desperation. However, their relationship extended beyond the mere trivialities of fun and games. Their matching ambition and determination drove each other on to new heights of brilliance. Within their comradery was a certain level of competitiveness that would not allow them to rest from their studies. However, the competition never impeded their friendship. There was nothing that one did not know about the other. For the two of them, secrets had ceased to exist. It seemed that perhaps their relationship was beyond friendship; even perhaps beyond the bond of a brother and a sister, for they were nearly the same person. Where one went, the other went. They fought together, played together, learned together. They were an inseparable unit.

There was a certain amount of concern coming from the direction of the Council because of that very fact. Their closeness had been questioned at length, but Obi Wan sought to protect them from it. Shade never knew why he did it, other than out of his love for her and Anakin, but he was always the mediator between the two of them and the Jedi Council. He defended them, reasoned for them, and had managed to keep them together for nearly five years already.

Shade curled up on the worn, comfy couch in their living room. Their living quarters were small but comfortable, set in the top floor of a living complex in Corrusant, with a wonderful view of the cityscape.

"What's for dinner, Master?" Anakin called into the kitchen as he plopped down beside her.

There was no reply from the kitchen, unless the clattering of pots and pans could be taken as an answer. The three of them rotated duties such as making the meals, and Obi Wan always struggled more than he'd like to admit when his turn came around.

Shade chuckled and turned to curl into Anakin's side. His arms circled around her naturally, his cheek coming to rest on her hair. It was their customary position at the days' end, as they soaked in the last drops of light from the setting suns.

"How do you think it will go tomorrow, Sky?" she asked him. Neither of them really knew when she'd started calling him by the nickname, but it had stuck.

He nuzzled her hair softly for a moment before answering. "I don't know," he said. "I've heard some strange things about Kohlma."

She tipped her head back so she could look at him. "Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know," he said with a small smile as he brushed a loose strand of hair off her face. "I've heard it called the moon of death. They say that all the victims of the Dark War were buried there, and their spirits wander among the tombs. They say the entire moon is a graveyard of the living dead."

She quirked an eyebrow at him. "Well, that makes me feel so much better," she said.

He grinned at her, that cocky, self-assured, dazzling grin that she loved so much.

"Don't worry," he said. "I think we're both smart enough to outwit death."

"Well I know _I_ am," she teased. "I can't speak for you, though. You know Master Obi Wan says you spend too much time flying instead of learning to know the Force."

Anakin arched his eyebrows at her. "Well, then, I'll be able to make a quick getaway. _You_, on the other hand, will be stuck on Kohlma, chucking tree branches at wandering spirits."

Obi Wan's somewhat frazzled voice sounded from the kitchen area, announcing dinner. With a parting glare, Shade stood and walked ahead of Anakin into the kitchen.

One of these days she just might kill him.


	4. Nightmares

Shade was not a person naturally given to fear. She had faced many things since the beginning of her Jedi training that an average human being would find terrifying; and not only had she faced them, she had thrived in the thrill of them.

Kohlma, however, truly scared her.

She had never stepped foot onto the soil of a place that felt so utterly _wrong._ From the time they had arrived two days before, the black cloud cover had not lifted, the freezing rain had not stopped falling, and the chilling wind had not stopped shrieking. The surface of the moon was a wasteland of black craggy rock, stretching on as far as the eye could see. Scattered across the forbidding landscape were trees, long dead and rising like scarecrows out of the bleak earth beneath them.

But more alarming than anything were the tombs.

They had come across the first under the overhang of a cliff, as they first scouted their surroundings. The cold stone had been crudely etched with the name of the unfortunate soul buried beneath. As they had journeyed on into the cold, wet wilderness, they had found several others. None were placed close to the others, but seemed equally spaced, spread across the moon's surface.

As they had moved among the dark trees and the tombstones, Shade had felt a spike of fear worm its way into her heart. All around them, she could feel the Force in chaos. A strangling power seemed to seep from the rocky ground like mist, twining around their feet and grasping at their cloaks. Dark thoughts started to invade her mind, thoughts that were not her own. Struggling against the choking sensations, she took several deep, ragged breaths and clutched at Anakin's hand as he walked beside her. He turned to look at her, and she saw concern darken his eyes as he took in her pale skin and dilated pupils.

"Master," he said quietly.

Ahead of them, Obi Wan stopped and turned.

"Yes, Anakin?"

"Don't you think we should go back to the ship? It's getting colder, and Shade seems unwell."

Obi Wan's brow creased as he glanced at Shade. He was at her side within two strides, his gentle, experienced hands running over the chilled skin of her brow. Curling his fingers around her neck, he rested his forehead against hers, closed his eyes, and began to murmur under his breath. As he called upon the Force, Shade felt the suffocating sensation fade and then leave her, the discomfort vanishing beneath the warmth of her Master's hands. At last, he released her, and with a final, concerned glance at her, began to lead the way back toward the ship.

Around them, the silent trees watched as they retreated, staring down from the bleak sky to the small figures of the Jedi as they fled beneath their branches. A biting wind was at their backs, driving them on, a wind that carried the muttering voices and ghostly laughs of a thousand empty souls.

At last, the familiar figure of their ship loomed up out of the gathering mist. Obi Wan stepped aside to make sure that they were both safely within before entering himself, and closing the door behind them. For a long moment, they stood in a silence only broken by the heaviness of their breathing.

"What _was_ that?" Anakin said at last.

They didn't ask him what he meant. The power that had risen from that dead earth and tried to extinguish their light was not something to be taken lightly.

"That, Anakin," Obi Wan replied heavily, "was the Dark Side. Something is not right here. Some darkness is being unleashed."

Shade clenched her teeth together to keep them from chattering and leaned against the wall so that her trembling legs would not betray her. Obi Wan's concerned glance turned to her.

"How do you feel now?" he asked.

"Better," she replied weakly.

His gaze was nearly curious as he tilted his head to regard her. "I have never seen a Jedi reject the Dark Side as strongly as you did," he said.

"What does that mean, Master?" Anakin asked.

Obi Wan was silent for a time, then replied with attempted lightness, "Well, Anakin, I suppose it means she's not going to be joining the Sith anytime soon."

Shade attempted a grin. "How disappointing."

Obi Wan laughed, then began to remove his cloak. "You two should get some rest," he said. "Unfortunately, our business here is not concluded, and we shall all need our strength before we venture back outside."

"Yes, Master," the two replied in sync.

They moved out of the hallway and into the room that they shared aboard the ship. It was simple, containing a closet, two double beds, and an adjoining bathroom. Still feeling slightly weak, Shade went into the bathroom and started running hot water for a bath. Stripping off her clothes, she lowered herself into the steaming water, a soft moan escaping her lips as warmth enveloped her, washing away the tension of the day. She wasn't sure how long she soaked in the tub, but the water was lukewarm by the time she got out, dried off and pulled a long, simple tunic over her head to sleep in. Back in the bedroom, Anakin was spread out on his bed, shirtless, limbs strewn in every direction as usual. With a grin, Shade pulled back her covers, crawled in and slowly surrendered to sleep, her blurry eyes watching Anakin's chest rise and fall until at last they slid shut.

The nightmares started soon afterwards.

_They stood once more beneath the trees on the surface of Kohlma, as rain fell from above and mist rose from below. As Shade watched the milky tendrils curl around her legs, they began to take form, shaping themselves into the figures of men, rising up to tower over the three Jedi. A scream froze in her throat as they moved toward her, closing in around her, cutting her off from all directions. 'Anakin?' she asked, her voice hoarse. When he didn't respond, she turned only to find that he and Obi Wan were nowhere in sight. Panic rose up to choke her. Struggling to find her voice through the paralysis that claimed her, she screamed his name. 'Anakin!'_

Her eyes flew open, and she tried to sit up in bed, only to feel panic wash over her afresh when she found herself held down. She struggled until Anakin's voice broke through her hysteria.

"Shade! It's me! It's Anakin."

Her eyes focused on his face. Calming, she flopped back on the bed, but his grip on her arms didn't lessen, and he leaned over her, forcing her to meet his gaze.

"Are you alright?" he asked, concern darkening his blue eyes.

Slowly, she nodded, forcing herself to smile. "I'll be fine," she replied softly.

Releasing her arms, Anakin lowered himself onto the bed beside her, staying without needing to be asked. Grateful for his presence, she turned to curl herself into his body as he held her. His fingers were gentle as they ran through her hair, and his skin was cool and smooth under her hands, and before she realized her eyes were closing, she had drifted back to sleep. He held her in his arms, chasing away the nightmares through the small hours of the night, until dawn crept over the horizon.


End file.
